What is Love?

What is LOVE?

I found some excellent quotes on LOVE.  More adequately, I discovered specific quotes on Conscious Love as I deem it the most purest form of love and that which is expanding and soulful.  Please dig deep and see what resonates for you.  There are many paths to love.

Accountability

People thrive in a climate of 100 percent accountability, where nobody blames or claims victim status. Hundred percent accountability is the shift from “I was wronged” to “I take full responsibility for events occurring the way they did.” From this empowered position, problems can be solved quickly, because time and energy are not squandered in a fruitless attempt to find fault. – Kathlyn and Gay Hendricks

Awakening

Conscious love is—I guess the obvious and chronological description is it’s love that’s conscious. It’s a love which is not about the usual sense of love, which is totally possessive and glued and “you and me forever and nobody else.” But it’s love that is in the service of awakening, or you could say that the other way around, awakening that’s in the service of love.  So it’s deep, it’s intimate, it’s passionate. It has all the dimensions of erotic love, including desiring, but it tries to cut a wider space in these things so that very identified nature of erotic love is turned inside out by conscious surrender and widening of the horizons. It becomes possible to experience a deeper and finer and more subtle force of love, the force that Dante referred to when he talked about the love that moves the sun and the stars. – Cynthia Bourgeault

No Hidden Agendaswhat is love

Sometimes, however, agape is translated as “conscious love,” and I think this hits closer to the mark. To be loving in any but the most unthinking and mechanical way, we first have to be conscious – conscious, in the first place, of our own hidden motives and agendas andneuroses. Even though it’s no doubt both impossible and unwise to eliminate these entirely, simply being aware of them takes away some of their power. You can no longer play the usual games of dominance and submission, the one who needs versus the one who is needed, and so on, or at any rate you can’t play them with the same unreflective aplomb. Something in the back of the mind keeps you back from engaging in the game wholeheartedly, but it also keeps you free. You become aware, however dimly, that you are not the games and agendas you often identify with. This in turn sets something free in the relationship itself. – Richard Smoley

It transcends transaction

Gift-giving is not a love language any more than Pig Latin is a Romance language. Rather, gift-giving is a vapid, pernicious cultural imperative in our society, and we’ve bought it (literally) hook, line, and sinker. We’ve become consumers of love.  The grotesque idea that we can somehow commodify love is nauseating. We often give gifts to show our love because we are troubled by real love. Buying diamonds is not evidence of everlasting devotion. Commitment, trust, understanding—these are indications of devotion.  Gift-giving is by definition transactional. But love is not a transaction. Love is transcendent—it transcends language and material possessions and can be shown only by our thoughts, actions, and intentions. – Joshua Fields Millburn & Ryan Nicodemus

We all want it

There is no shame in my saying that we all want to be loved by someone. As I look back over my life in romance, I don’t feel I’ve ever had that. I have been the only one that was unaware of the fraud in a few of these circumstances blindly. When you get divorced, all the truths that come out, you sit there and you go, What the fuck was I doing? What was I doing believing that this person was invested in this way? Which is a fantastically strong humiliation in the best sense. It can make somebody very bitter and very hard and closed off, but I find it does the opposite to me. – Sean Penn, actor

Requires Paying Attention

I’ll bet if you and he look back on your failed marriages, you will notice that you didn’t pay attention to warning signs, problems, conflicts, unfulfilled needs, and all kinds of stuff. Eventually, it was precisely what you weren’t paying attention to that sabotaged your relationships, right? You didn’t treat those relationships carefully enough. So here you are with a new, wonderful partner, and you’re both scared of making mistakes again, and a little reluctant to just blindly trust. I say, that’s great! It’s about time! You should be afraid of making mistakes, all of us should. You should be careful to make sure your needs get met. You should be paying very close attention, because the more you pay attention to your relationship, the better it will be. – Barbara DeAngelis, Ph.D.

Having Fun

Be open to meeting potential dates in ordinary places that you frequent during your busy week: the grocery store, library, bank, commuter bus or train, or health club. When you are out, make friendly eye contact with other people. Wear something that will start a conversation. If someone smiles at you, say “Hi” and then let nature take its course. Assume the best when talking to a new person (“I naturally make friends,” “People always like me”) so you’ll radiate a positive attitude. Focus on having fun, and you’ll reduce self-conscious worries. – Doreen Virtue, PhD

 

4 Replies to “What is Love?”

  1. Paying attention in a relationship is so important. Especially in the long term you have to stay present which can be hard to do.

  2. Great post! What a wonderful selection of quotes. You have done a wonderful job of highlighting what an unconditional love looks like. That it is not to be bought or a state of possessiveness. What a great way to go into Valentine’s Day!

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