Self Love Sunday. Codependency.

All relationships are opportunities for self-awareness. The more we can surround ourselves with them, the more opportunities we have for Self Love and other-love. Someone reading this is learning a lesson about codependency. It means you are trying to control, develop a certain outcome, make your partner behave in a way that always pleases you, and ensure safety and security in every way so that you do not feel any discomfort.

It’d be easy for me to say, Let that shit Go. But, here’s the lesson. How deep do you want to feel pleasure? How fully do you want to experience emotion? How much better could the sex be? the cuddles? the relaxation, and surrender into someone’s arms… if you were to let that shit go? You may be trying to develop a new relationship or you may have been married for many years and think you know it all because, after all, you’ve been married or coupled for years.  No small feat, without a doubt. Yet, being coupled doesn’t guarantee you any more consciousness or one-up on levels of relate-ability. In fact, the longer you have been practicing your codependent ways, the harder it can be to accept that you still have changing to do.  In fact, codependency often acts like a drug addiction.  It’s soothingly attractive and easy to get in line for the door with a big sign that says, “You Have Been here Before.”  You have to ask yourself if you want to go back to that experience.  What makes it different from the others?  What is different about you?

So, here’s a little free Coaching advice. The next time you have the opportunity to experience more pleasure  in a relationship, just make that a “Yes.”  Don’t let the fears stop you, or the judgements start to cloud over you. Deserve is a word I don’t really like to use, but in this context I will. You deserve that kind of experience, that kind of love.  Getting caught up in the definitions, labels, he said, but she said, and other mind-less chatter is going to stop you from the opportunity. The opportunity to the walk the path of Self Love.  Controlling the path of love is a sign of codependency. If you let go of the desire to control, you will experience deeper emotion and pleasure when it finally happens.

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