Pleasure matters. Self Love Sunday

Pleasure matters. I see a lot of adult women still struggling with this concept, and a few men. Do I give myself pleasure or do I hold myself up to some standard, value or moral that I have been taught somewhere along the way? Some of you can take pleasure too far, it’s true. But, a majority of you are far from that. A majority are not experiencing enough pleasure.

I discuss desires a lot. Desires being inspired by Spirit. I’ve written about this before. In fact, I have a whole archive focused on desires HERE. It is unfortunate to see others that are not comfortable admitting their pleasures. In fact, there is the term ‘guilty pleasure’ as if people aren’t allowed to experience what they desire as if there is a need to compare spiritually inspired desires to what is wrong or bad. Where does this internal threshold begin?

There has been plenty of research to show that there is a biological component such as Darwinian theory and on through modern-day psychology, sociology and neurology. There is a biological response to pain and pleasure. Some have a high need for pleasure or are otherwise bored. Others, have a lack of dopamine or high need for pleasure response, which neuroscientists have observed, and this can create a number of problems from psychosis to addictions.  As part of a culture or group or community, you have boundaries, rules, laws and morals which provide a structure for behavior. There are some in a culture where this structure isn’t enough to curb what feels good. The book, “Lord of the Flies,” comes to mind. There must be a structure to society, or outlets for desires, otherwise, there can be a valid threat to those in that society, culture, peer group or family.

Most of you do not fall into the dark categories and yet, you still resist what gives you pleasure.

Perhaps it is better to start small. Have a cookie or something that tastes really good to you but in your mind you tell yourself it is bad. Take time to think about the effects of the cookie in your life and how much power it does or does not have over you. Realize that this cookie, or the whole package, you just ate, is a symbol of pleasure. You can start to feel your desires and if you are consciously aware of the cookie, how it tastes, what it looks like, how it smells, how it feels, how your body feels, before and after, then you have just gained a large lesson in pleasure.

There are pleasures that feel good now, and continue to feel good when you think about them, and continue to feel good later in life. There are other pleasures that were perhaps a little less mind-blowing, but necessary for you perhaps, and yet, you do not necessarily want to try that again, taste that again, or, face that consequence again. Do morals, ethics, and values matter?  Of course they do.  Absolutely.

But, how do you make a difference between pleasure and addiction, or pleasure for you versus unreasonable for another? Sometimes what is good for you is not good for someone else. Thus, pleasure and desires are not lessons for the unconscious.  I am speaking to the conscious, those that are willing to be self-aware and do the work. If you want to obtain your desires, and seek to increase your pleasure in life, then the key ingredient is consciousness.

A woman wrote to me today about her progress. She said she has experienced a shift in the past year and felt a big exhale and let go of some insecurity.  This was in succession with moving towards what she wants, or attracting it, and realizing it is because of who she is rather than what she desired. This fits perfectly with today’s #selflovesunday post. You can want a lot of people, experiences or things and some of them may come to you. But, the lesson is in being present once you attract and then receive. As I posted the other day, Wayne Dyer says, “Miracles come in moments. Be ready and willing.”

Here is your PLEASURE exercise:

self love sunday pleasure





One Reply to “Pleasure matters. Self Love Sunday”

  1. What an interesting read…. I honestly need some time to think it through and do the work. I think the distinction between desire and pleasure is important. I love your statement that we may not be experiencing enough pleasure…. love it.

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